The reasons for voting Liberal at the upcoming election:

1. You’re a sexist, conservative hillbilly of a cunt.

2. You honestly believe the way to defeat a recession is to financially and socially recede, and conserve, and thus render the nation five steps behind the rest of the world, and lower our quality of living.

3. You’re a greedy miner who doesn’t want to share our common resources with the rest of the rightful and deserving citizens of this country.

4. You stupidly believe that just because Tony Abbott says he will spend a billion dollars on mental health issues, the money will appear out of nowhere, and the new programs will be good for healthcare as a whole.

5. You don’t give a flying fuck about education.

6. You’re a dumb teenage slut or douchebag who won’t vote Labor because of Julia Gillard’s annoying voice.

7. You think that ‘stopping the boats’ is a major issue, and that Australia is responsible for other countries being such a farce that their own people are jumping ship.

8. You say you feel sorry for Kevin Rudd and will never vote Labor again, despite him remaining with the ALP and giving them his full backing.

9. You don’t give a toss about communication, and in particular, a broadband internet network that doesn’t come from the stone age.

10. You’re a Christian who thinks that faith has any relevance in modern politics, and won’t vote for an Atheist-lead ALP because your head is so far up your own asshole.

What a shame the Liberals will win.